NB: I realize is silly. This is why I am writing this blog. Because it’s just silly and sometimes life is silly.

I logged into my Torrid account yesterday. We are going to another country for a cruise and in that country they have all four seasons, unlike where I live, so I will need long pants that aren’t leggings. Which qualifies as a clothing emergency under which I can purchase new clothing. I checked to see if Torrid still makes the jeans I liked, and they do, but then I caught a glimpse of my loyalty status and I was crestfallen.

I used to be a VIP. I got free shipping. I got a $20 gift card for my birthday. They loved me at Torrid! Now I am a lowly Insider, with no perks to speak of. My last order was placed on September 7, 2025 and literally for over a year, I hadn’t purchased anything from Torrid, online or in store.

It was shocking. I was bereft! How could I have fallen so far? Which, I mean, the math works out. You have to keep buying clothes from Torrid to remain high in their loyalty program. But for some reason, I felt a sense of loss from returning to the bottom of the loyalty ladder.

Throughout my life, I have yo-yoed between weight. But unfortunately, I don’t keep gaining and losing 20 or even 30 lbs. I manage to lose between 70-100 lbs, and then all comes right back and I am over 300 lbs again. I have done this four times now as an adult. Which, yes, I constantly needed more clothes, and my sizes never left Torrid’s range, so I became a very loyal customer.

There was something exciting about new clothes. There was a reason to get up in the morning so I could put on a new dress or top, there was shopping, which is very entertaining. It’s so satisfying to try on a smaller size. And if you need a bigger size? At least you’re still buying a new outfit.

When I started losing weight again, which yes, was due to GLP-1s, I decided something radical. I wasn’t going to buy new clothes until I was my goal weight. I could purchase a few items from thrift stores if in a pinch, but other than that, if it isn’t actually falling off my body, I’m wearing it anyway. Needless to say, at 80 lbs down, I am very excited about finally getting a new wardrobe.

I have slowly accumulated a pile of clothes I can literally no longe wear because they are so ill fitting. And I will not get rid of them. Possibly ever. Because my “we’ll be moving house in a year, have to purge everything” mindset is gone and good lord, it is entirely too expensive for me to keep buying clothes when I lose change weight.

It goes without saying that I have basically a collection of leggings and tank tops right now. Most of my clothes are size 22-24 and I am now a size 16. But I’m still wearing them! No matter how hilariously oversized they have become.

I look forward to purchasing clothes intentionally and constructing the perfect wardrobe. More to come on that one.

Of course, I’m not sure if I will hit the heights of Torrid VIP again. But it did strike me as a strange adjustment in my new mindset. I was a Torrid VIP for years. I don’t want to calculate how many, mind. But when I buy clothes again, it will be for a stable weight I can maintain, and I will construct a wonderful wardrobe I will be excited to wear every day.