First off, my belief in human goodness was so high the test called me naive. Which I’m fine with. That’s the worst thing you can say about me? I’ll take it. Also, for trauma survivors, it’s common to show higher rates of distrust of other people. My distrust was low. I’m not sure how I managed that. But yeah, that’s correct.

The language/verbal/vocabulary section of the test was what I performed the best at. Which, I was expecting. For obvious reasons, but also because that was my best section on my ADHD test almost 10 years ago. This time, I ranked in the 99th percentile for same-age peers. Which is pretty cool.

I rated moderately high on familial alienation. But considering I am no contact with my parents, I could have told them that before I started.

Get this, I am actually average at math. I should probably stop making those jokes. Also, somehow, I remembered how to do long division.

The surprise for me was that I did well at memory tests. While my score wasn’t consistent across all of the different ways my working memory was tested, one section I scored poorly, but my overall score was higher than average. Which is very weird because I have long believed I have had an extremely bad memory. Which… I’m not sure why my perception has been so far off from the reality.

One thing that did not surprise me at all, even though I had never articulated it myself, was that I remember, retain, and can work with information better when it goes together. Like it tells a story, has a flow, there is some kind of logic connecting everything. Disparate information is much harder for me to process. A narrative is the rope I hang all the pieces of the surrounding information on.

I did several sections that contained ADHD testing and I scored low on all of them. Really not sure what the story on that was. When I took an ADHD test in 2017, the evaluator did remark that I didn’t fit the diagnostic criteria very well. But, somehow, I ended up with the diagnosis anyway.

Conclusion?

My brain is weird. But it has strengths and weakness that I can work with and utilize to the best of my ability. Also, I’m putting down my ability to compare words and understand language as a byproduct of being a poet. No one knows how to bend, break, and patch up language like a poet.